Ideally, there should NOT be any dating rules for women OR men. Nothing beats spontaneous fun! However, many women (and men) have a skewed understanding of love and relationships due to false social conditioning.
Also, if you want to grow as a person and get better at attracting men, you need some sort of starting point and techniques that you can implement.
So here are the NEW rules of dating for smart women. How do you know if you’re smart? Well, here is a pro tip – if you’re wondering about it, you probably aren’t! 😉
My Top 5 Dating Rules for Women:
1) Forget about the outcome:
On the top of my list of ‘dating rules for women’ is simple this; Don’t try to make every likeable guy your boyfriend or husband. When you stop wondering about the result, you live in the moment and the real you gets a chance to shine through. It can be very difficult to not think about the outcome – especially since you are investing heavily in improving your looks, social skills, attitude, personality etc.
Still, you have to trust that if you take care of the process – the result will take care of itself. When you start worrying about the outcome – you stop attracting and begin chasing! Enjoy working on yourself and meeting new guys. Be very present when interacting with all people in general – this way, your interactions will flow naturally and easily. There will be no awkwardness and you will naturally come across as a highly attractive woman.
2) Create a killer online dating profile:
Here’s a few tips for a KILLER online dating profile, take notes, seriously!
Use a platform like tinder or something else that is popular in your area. Post some really awesome pictures that show others that you actually have a life. A selfie taken in front of your computer is just not going to cut it – activity photos work the best since they showcase your personality.
Post photos with you playing the guitar, or riding an elephant or driving a sports car (not standing next to one!!!!!!!) – you get the idea!
Write a short, interesting bio too – treat it like the trailer, not the whole movie. In general, online dating can do wonders to your confidence and game. It will help you to get out of the needy and scarcity mind set.
It’s very easy to get dates online – so you won’t have to go for weeks without a date. It is low pressure and takes up very little time. You can line up a steady stream of dates even if you are online for just 10 minutes a day. Even if the dates aren’t exactly ‘mind blowing’, you’ll still have several guys calling, texting and going after you.
This will remove you from the seller frame and put you into the buyer frame. In short, you won’t be desperate for attention – you’ll have plenty of it. Who knows, you might even meet a great guy online.
(For more on this, read my Blog Post: Dating Profile Examples for Women)
3) Look amazing at all times:
No matter what your income level is – you can definitely afford to work out; after all – it’s free!
You don’t need a fancy gym to jog and do a few lunges, squats, sit ups etc. Just working out for twenty minutes a day will rev up your metabolism and make you feel energetic and lively all day. Not only will you shed excess pounds, but you’ll have a more toned figure and better skin.
You simply cannot ignore the fact that men are visual creatures and are drawn towards good looks. However, different men have different a definition of good looks. So no matter what your body type is, there’s always a large number of men who find you desirable.
Wear stylish clothes that make you look good.
Get a nice hairstyle that complements your face and you are ready to rock!
Looking good at all times increases the chances of men coming up to you and trying to impress you. You want that – don’t you?
4) Get good at starting conversations:
Many women have an extreme case of approach anxiety. They literally freeze up at even the prospect of talking to an unknown guy. (Don’t worry ladies, many guys have that same issue too!)
Well, if you get good at small talk – you can approach without really approaching!
There is no fear of rejection since you are not doing anything weird like using a pickup line that you googled earlier.
Here are some simple conversation starters that you can use right now:
- Is there a good coffee shop around here?
- Do you know a good place to hang out in this area?
- Nice shirt!
- Cool hat.
- Wow, I love those shoes! (Or that belt, or that watch)
- Ask guys to take photos of you.
- In many cases, even a simple smile is enough.
Do not limit small talk to just the hot guys – talk to everyone. Try it, it’s fun.
5) Let him invest more in the interaction and make him chase you a little bit:
Thanks to the internet, most single guys are interacting with several women at once. Hence, you cannot play too coy. Still, men are most attracted to the women that are slightly out of their league. If you text or call him incessantly, he’ll lose interest. Men love the thrill of the chase – they need to feel that they have earned your love, attention and respect. So don’t do all the hard work on the dates – be like a talk show host – be witty and have fun but make them invest in the interaction. People value most what they have worked hard to achieve. If he asks to meet you on Tuesday, say you are free on Thursday. Don’t reply to his texts instantaneously. Don’t rush to pick up his call – let him wait and call you a couple of times. These little nuances sent subtle signals to his brain – they communicate that you are a busy, high value alpha woman with an exciting life.
Date several men simultaneously – don’t spend too much time and energy on just one guy (unless you are in a relationship). Don’t commit too early – take your time – stop being an emotional fool. Also, remember that a man is not your girlfriend. So don’t share all your secrets with him – at least not initially. Don’t talk with him on the phone for several hours. Most importantly – don’t sleep with him too early. All good things are worth waiting for!
Now you have everything in your little bag o’tricks to find and keep Mr. Right!
6) Want To Know What Men Secretly Want (But Are too afraid to say)?
I recommend this video to a lot of my students, What Men Secretly Want by Relationship Expert James Bauer goes into (you guessed it) what men REALLY want in love, life and relationships. Give yourself about 15 minutes to watch this – then come back and let me know what you think!