A question I’ve been asked about recently is how to go about dating two guys at the same time.
Well….Not everybody may agree with me on this – but when you’re REALLY looking to meet Mr. Right, and no longer just screwing around, there’s no point spending too much time and energy on just one guy at a time.
However, things aren’t always as simple as that. I also know this is NOT for everybody, so if you can’t handle it emotionally – just dismiss this post all together. 🙂
IF you’re open to trying this, you should go on multiple dates with multiple guys and keep your options open until you find a guy you really, really dig.
So – You go on a date with a guy and you two hit it off – you have chemistry and compatibility.
You tell yourself to take it easy – you try not to become too obsessed with this one guy. So you go on another date with an equally amazing man. One date leads to another and then another.
Suddenly, you find yourself dating two guys! What should you do?
Should you continue seeing both of them and trust that your heart will make the right choice – eventually?
I mean, open relationships are cool right? Maybe you should pick one of them and ditch the other? If yes, which one do you pick? Should you tell them that you are seeing other people too?
After all, you have not made it official with either of them and so there is no question of being exclusive to each other. Relationships are all about honesty, aren’t they?
Well, all this can be downright baffling so here are some ideas to help you make the right decision before you explode.
1) Manage your guilt: Unless you are VERY open minded and have been in open relationships before, you’ll feel at least some degree of guilt, especially if you are sleeping with both of them. However, it is important to keep in mind that you have not committed to any one of them yet – so stop beating yourself up too much regarding the issue. Maybe the guys are seeing other girls as well. Be happy that you have two guys who make you feel special – you have the power of choosing.
Many girls cannot even manage a date with a half decent guy. Don’t let guilt ruin the fun. As long as you have a general idea about where you want to be in life (relationship-wise), you are doing alright. If your goal is to have threesomes with incredibly hot guys – hey, that’s fine too! Do what makes you happy. Polyamory is quite popular now-a-days although it is certainly not for everyone and requires precise and tactful communication.
2) You are drawn to different qualities in both the men: One of them has a superb sense of humor but the other has the better butt! Now that’s a really tough choice to make. If you are looking for a long term relationship, it is wise to choose emotional compatibility over physical attraction.
I mean, it is easier to do squats and get a good looking derriere. However, developing a sense of humor and making people smile is a much, much harder skill to acquire.
3) Whatever you do, don’t wait for the world to solve the problem for you: If you wish to have a conventional relationship wherein you are dating just one guy, you have to make a decision and choose one. The matter will not solve itself unless one of the guys flies off with another bird. As ironical as it may sound – this might leave you hurt. So it is best to decide yourself rather than waiting for things to happen.
4) You might mess up the guys’ names. If it happens during a casual conversation, you can simply say that you said the name of a colleague at work whom you have to interact a lot. Or you can lie that you blurted out your brother’s or best friend’s name. It is easy to control the damage during a normal conversation. However, if it happens during sex, you are screwed – and not in a good way.
5) Know how both the guys feel about you: You can deduce their true feelings from their actions and words. If a guy wants to meet up just for drinks and love-making, he is not really serious. If he is wooing you with flowers, treats and gifts, it’s a different ball game altogether.
Realize that you have even more options than the two guys you’re currently seeing. However, if you fail to take decisive action, you could lose both of them. Listen to your heart – don’t make it a competition and don’t keep dating them just because it gives you an ego boost!