How To Stop Nagging – You’re his Woman, not his mom!
Nagging is the worst enemy of your relationship.
The number one cause of failed relationships and divorces is not cheating – it’s nagging!
- Nagging will make your boyfriend or husband hate you.
- It will ruin your life and make you lonely and miserable.
A relationship should be mutually rewarding – both individuals should develop and grow into better, happier human beings. However, when you constantly nag your boyfriend or husband, you’re essentially acting like a poison drip.
You’re hindering him and preventing him from living up to his true potential. Not only that, you are turning bitter on the inside due to constant arguments and tense interactions. After a hard day of work, your boyfriend/husband should be looking forward to meeting you. He shouldn’t dread the prospect of facing you. Do not become an ordeal that your man has to endure every day.
If you want to know How to Stop Nagging, here are some practical tips:
1) You’re not necessarily right – maybe you’re just angry:
According to psychologists, nagging is a manifestation of negative emotions.
If you really want to solve a problem, being angry about it isn’t going to help you at all. On the contrary, you should calm down and address the issue objectively and pragmatically. Say you want to make yourself quit smoking. If you keep nagging and shaming him about it – he will feel guilty, depressed and will smoke even more than before.
If you truly want to help him quit – you should stop nagging him about it and help him focus on other positive things. Try gifting him a copy of – how to quit smoking by Allen Carr or buy him a packet of nicotine patches. This is a much better approach and it has better chances of succeeding.
2) When you do have an argument, make sure that it is for a productive cause.
Arguments should lead to solutions. However, more often than not – they lead to bitterness and anger. This serves no purpose at all – in fact, it only aggravates the situation. When you argue, stop insulting each other and speak effectively and clearly.
3) Understand that most men will never be as organized and orderly as women:
No matter how many times you tell them, men will leave bread crumbs on the table. They will forget where they put their socks and underwear. They will place empty plates back into the fridge. You will always have to cover up a little bit for the man in terms or organization.
You can make him compensate by giving him ‘manly’ tasks that he is good at – changing tires and lightbulbs, hauling furniture, taking the dog for a walk, drilling holes, fixing bolts etc.
If you cannot control your negative emotions, you won’t be able to think and act rationally.
You will always come across as unpleasant and grumpy.
Meditation really helps to control anger.
It also helps you to concentrate better; relieves stress and improves blood circulation. No matter how busy you are, you can meditate for at least a few minutes every day.
Get your man to do it too – and don’t nag him if he forgets! 🙂
5) Polite requests are way better than nagging:
Instead of saying – you always leave the countertop dirty, say something like – honey, will you please clean the countertop after you are done?
Make sure that he responds affirmatively to your request – this is very important.
When a person consciously says yes to something – they usually carry out that task.
Even if he forgets, don’t blow your top off. Say – Honey, did you remember to clean the countertop?
He’ll probably say – oops, sorry! I’ll clean it right now.
You can produce much better results just by saying the same thing differently. When you accuse your man of always leaving the counter dirty, you draw a negative reaction from him. Naturally, he comes back with some fault of yours and the conversation just spirals out of control. Now You know why a polite request is a gazillion times better than pestering!
Many women are not able to communicate their feelings and emotions correctly. Hence, they end up nagging and whining about the situation. Also, it is important not to extrapolate from trivial mistakes.
Just because your boyfriend/husband forgets to do the laundry does not mean that he doesn’t care about you anymore. He probably loves you and cares about you – he’s just too lazy to do the laundry. Don’t blow things out of proportion. 🙂
Use positive reinforcement to get your man to do the things that he doesn’t particularly enjoy. For example: Say that you will make his favorite chicken wings if he helps to clean the dishes afterwards.