So you want to know How To Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back? Well, If you think that getting drunk and calling your ex in the middle of the night is a good idea, think again! 🙂
The truth is – No amount of pleading, convincing, crying, sobbing, desperate text messages and phone calls are going to make your ex want to get back with you. All these things kill attraction – they make you look disgraceful, needy and desperate.
Your relationship with your ex failed because of one simple reason: the attraction faded. He was probably extremely attracted to you when your relationship was blooming. However, the feelings became less intense with time. The ONLY way to get your ex back is to recreate the lost attraction. In essence, it means that you should do the things that you did during the initial phase of your relationship!
However, before that you have to stop needing him and be able to maintain your sanity around him.
Follow my 5 step approach and learn How To Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back:
1) No contact phase:
Instead of sending him twenty text messages a day saying how much you still love him and miss him, just ignore him totally. You need to recover from the break-up and hence you should focus on yourself and make absolutely no contact with him for about a month.
Seriously – DON’T be that girl & Text Him!
Hit the gym, buy some new clothes and party with your girlfriends. Focus on your life goals and career/school.
As ironic as it sounds – if you want him back, you need to get to a point where you are ready to move on and can live without him.
Neediness kills attraction! You can only hope to re-create attraction if you are able to remain rational in his presence. I know this is hard but do it anyway, seriously!
Take a vacation, follow your interests, engage in your favorite hobbies. Do anything to keep yourself busy or else you’ll become depressed.
Try not to think of your ex. Avoid the things that make you miss him – put all those stuffed toys, photos and other gifts at a place where you don’t see them.
This phase is all about reconstructing the broken you. Have fun – do whatever makes you happy! If he makes contact – ignore him! If you cannot help it (maybe you lived together or have kids), keep your replies extremely short and to the point. No broken hearts, bye byes, crying emoticons….etc.
2) Make him miss you:
Your boyfriend/husband was used to having you around. You both probably spent a lot of time together.
When you suddenly get cut off from his life (thanks to the no contact phase), he is bound to miss you. The human brain seeks comfort – it clings to the familiar.
If you stop contacting him altogether – he will feel your absence strongly. However, if you keep pestering him with obnoxious text messages, he will become disgusted by you and this will only push him further away.
Remember – no contact whatsoever!
It is the only way to make him miss you.
Say it with me…seriously…”NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER!”
See, that wasn’t so bad was it? 🙂
If you want to get back with him – it is critical that he misses you. You have to make him think that getting back with you is a good idea and most importantly – it’s HIS idea, not yours!
3) Make him regret and have second thoughts:
Thanks to social media, he will be kept updated of all the progress you have made in the month of no contact.
You look better and more stylish, you are having a blast and enjoying life to fullest.
I strongly suggest that you go on a few dates as well. It will help your confidence soar and you will stop needing your ex so badly.
Even if he is not in touch with you through social media, your common friends will tell him how you have moved on and are having a great time.
They might also drop in hints that you are seeing other guys.
All this will make him a bit jealous and he’ll start having second thoughts regarding the break up.
This will be on his mind ALL the time….
- Did he make the right decision by leaving you?
- You are living joyfully while he is still screwed and brooding over the break up.
- You are totally out of his league.
4) Get in touch:
Before you get in touch, it’s VERY important that you know and stick to these 3 simple steps:
- Do not call him to talk about the break up.
- Do not mention anything related to the break up.
- Just be cheerful, upbeat and carefree – just like you were when he first met you.
You can simply send him a text saying that you have been extremely busy and wanted to find out how he was doing. Better yet, tell him how much you are enjoying life (do not brag or show off – be honest). Keep the interactions short – make him want more of you. After a few text messages or a couple of phone calls, ask him out for a ‘friendly’ meeting.
5) Your ‘first’ date:
You told him it would be a friendly meeting – you did this because inviting him out for a date would’ve spooked him and it would’ve made you look a little desperate. When you meet him, be happy and funny. Tease and flirt with him (learn what flirting really means) – get him attracted to the better, new you!
Once you have re-planted the seed of attraction in his heart, you do not really have to do much – except not screwing it all up! Keep the first meeting short (do not sleep with him under any circumstances). Make him long for you. Soon, he will want to be with you.
If you follow the five step approach described above, you stand a very real chance of getting your ex back!
6) Want More?
Check out this free presentation on the power of simple text messages to get on the right path to saving your relationship: