Dan Savage, a popular sex advice columnist and author, often reminds his audience that every relationship fails until one doesn’t. The topic we want to talk about today is what makes one relationship more likely to last over another. What are the pillars of a strong relationship, and how can people who are just starting to date give their new relationship the best chance to succeed?
Let’s begin by looking at the elements of a successful relationship. Whether you’re just starting to date or are celebrating your anniversary, the following advice will strengthen your relationship so it survives through the bad times and soars during the good.
They Enjoy Each Other
This one is pretty simple. They like spending time together and talking to one another. Couples that last are the ones that enjoy each other’s company and look forward to those moments together, even if it’s during the mundane parts of day-to-day life.
They Argue Well
The longer you’re in a relationship with someone, the more likely you are to have disagreements and arguments. These conflicts are an important part of learning to build a life together. Avoiding a fight because you don’t want to address your opinion or deal with the aftermath only weakens your bond. When you do disagree, it’s important that you do so without alienating your partner.
Successful couples argue but do it in a way that leaves the relationship stronger. One strategy that some couples employ is to use “we” and “our” during a fight. This solidifies their connection and helps both partners realize their on the same side.
They Never Stop Dating
Between getting kids ready for school, preparing meals, and keeping your house together, it can be hard to keep the spark that brought you together from burning out. They key for a lot of couples is to dedicate a night each week or month to a date night. This lets the two people focus on one another instead of everything else that takes up a day. It’s an important part of a strong relationship because it reminds the couple why they got together in the first place.
They’re a Team
The common phrase of “no I in team” applies to more than just sports. For a relationship to last, the couple needs to see each other as a part of a single team. From communication to teamwork and dedicated, everything they do has to strengthen the team. Moving from an “I” and “me” state of mind to a “us” and “we” isn’t always easy, but it’s integral to the strength of your relationship.
They’re Committed to the Long Haul
Successful couples don’t just make promises to each other, but commit to their vows and promises. Through sickness, health, richer, poorer, partners in relationships that last honor these vows and stand by each other through all trials and tribulations.
It doesn’t matter if you’re celebrating a year or a decade together, these rules apply. It’s not difficult to have a relationship that will stand the test of time. Just treat your partner how you want to be treated, with respect, love, and communication.
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