What Men Want In Bed? It’s Not What You Think!

What Men Want In Bed

There is a huge difference between what men like in bed and what men WANT in bed. It’s easy to make a man like a sexual experience. However, if you want to know and do what he really wants – it’s a totally different ball game.


Many men don’t even have the courage to admit to themselves what they really want during sex. Even if they do, they might be very guarded and hesitant about letting you in the mental labyrinth of their sexual fantasies.

It takes quite a lot of pushing and poking to learn what every man specifically wants in bed (Each guy is different) but once you give a man what he really wants – you spoil him for life. You become irreplaceable!

Few other women actually have the confidence, ‘the balls’ or even the mental awareness of finding out about and fulfilling a man’s deepest and darkest sexual fantasies. Even if he does manage to create a similar experience with some other girl – it will probably feel a bit contrived because it didn’t ‘just happen’ – he had to work his way towards it. If you truly desire to rule a man’s heart – you have to give him what he wants in bed. You have to shed your inhibitions and help him shed his.

You have to connect with him in a way that nobody else has.

This requires open communication and trust – a man should feel secure with you and know that you will not judge him for being sexual.

In a way, society makes us feel guilty for wanting to have sex – it uses derogatory terms like naughty, debauched, slutty, perverted etc. to describe people with a ravenous sexual appetite.

Religion and moral codes have brainwashed people for centuries and told them that sex is unholy.

In fact, they have made it look like a duty that people must perform in order to have children and please God. It may take time to shed these inhibitions and perceive sex really the way it is – one of the greatest gifts of nature and the source of all life.

The Language of Desire

If you truly want to know what men want in bed, here are the top 5:

1) Be Reassuring!

Even the most alpha male wants to be reassured that you are enjoying your sexy times together, So tell him – but don’t fake it. Seriously, don’t moan unnecessarily like a pornstar (unless that is what you naturally do!)

Nothing boosts a man’s ego like knowing that he can truly and completely satisfy his woman. What if he is not satisfying you completely? Tell him what makes you tick and teach him to do it. Don’t expect it to work out the first few times – be patient.

Men are willing to learn and try – they don’t want you to just have an orgasm, they literally want you to lose control and go delirious with pleasure!

2) Use Toys!

There are plenty of toys and devices out there – introduce them into your sex life.

Many people go their entire lives without experimenting in the bedroom. Sex can be exponentially more fun if you are willing to broaden the horizons of your mind and explore a bit.

Try out various positions and locations (be careful not to get caught though!).

3) Make him your Bitch!

As crazy as it may sound to you – men actually like it when you objectify them in bed.

Women have an objection about objectification – men not so much!

Try it on your man – you’ll notice the difference.  Seriously, try telling him how sexy he looks, call him your little bitch, tell him you can’t wait for him to have his way with you, change things up a bit! 🙂

4) Be willing to initiate sex more often:

This communicates to the man that you really enjoy sex. It also saves him the hassle of having to warm you up every time and sort of convince you to have sex with him.

Also, remember that foreplay doesn’t have to be initiated in the bedroom at all times, it can be prolonged over an entire day.

Send him a sexy text message while he’s at work. Don’t be surprised if he shows up earlier than usual!

5) Talk dirty to him:

Don’t let porn be your inspiration for dirty talk. The women in porn are just yelling and moaning unnaturally. Tell him exactly how you feel, how he is making you feel, tell him what to do and what you would like to do to him. Just let your imagination and mind take over and don’t filter your words too much.  Try sending him THESE dirty text messages!

Understand that all fantasies don’t have to come true. The fact that they are fantasies is what makes them so sexy.

For example:

Your guy may fantasize about threesomes – but that doesn’t mean that it is what he wants in real life! Just fantasizing about it can make him horny as hell!

6) Lingerie!

It is no secret that men like to look at nude women. However, let me let you in on a secret – Men also like to look at women who are..not so nude, LOL!

  • Sexy lingerie creates a barrier between your most coveted delights and you partner.
  • It creates expectation and anticipation; it gives him something to imagine and look forward to.
  • As a woman, you should be totally conscious of the effect your body and persona has on your man.
  • The right lingerie can drive your man so wild that he’ll want to rip it off and relish your body with the voracity of a shark!

Many of my clients do not understand the big deal about sexy lingerie. Let me explain with the help of a simple analogy:

You make your man a great meal, he’s quite happy and really enjoys it – However, he will enjoy that meal a lotlot more if you starve him a little bit and then tease him with delicious aromas.

See where i’m going? The sense of expectation and longing makes the dining experience really memorable. Now you have a fantastic excuse to splurge on some fine lingerie this weekend – trust me, your man will thank you – and me! LOL

7) Men like to watch!

As you may already know, men love with their eyes – which means that they can get incredibly turned on by the sight of a woman’s naked body!

However, as ironic as may sound, many men don’t get the chance to see their partner fully naked. Very often, sex happens at close quarters and with the lights out. Men cannot see your entire body when they are very close to you – especially if you’re doing it in the missionary position.

Also – if the woman is shy and not confident about her body, she’ll probably insist that he turn off the lights.

Men don’t work that way – they find it irritating. Physical touch and intimacy is alright but they need to see your body and objectify it to at-least some degree. Men are wired like that so don’t take this too personally.

Walk around the house naked or put on a little show for your man.

Tie him to the couch, strip naked for him and tease all his senses. Some men also like to watch women touch themselves – try it. Be a little shameless with your man – it creates a greater sense of intimacy and trust and helps you to create mind-blowing sexual experiences!

8) Explore all his erogenous zones:

Men have the pressure to perform in bed. They feel obligated to make it pleasurable and last long. Hence, they take the time to learn a lot about the female anatomy and psychology.

Men spend hours learning about ways to arouse and please women. On the other hand, many women have absolutely no idea about how to please a man.

In their head, they are doing the man a favor by letting him have sex with them. This kind of attitude will get you nowhere. Your man will become bored of you and will begin to explore new territory.

Thanks to porn, men are used to looking at highly confident and sexually initiated women. So if you’re too shy or inactive, he MAY feel that he’s missing out on good sex. Now I am not saying that you should start acting like a porn-star just to give your partner an ego massage.

However, you can definitely learn more about his erogenous zones and take control in the bedroom.

The simple fact that you are investing in the sexual experience is highly reassuring for your partner.

It conveys to him that you care about his pleasure and that he is not doing a thankless job by having sex with you. Pay attention to your man’s earlobes, butt, perineum, scrotum, feet – the body is full of hidden treasures!

9) Use your hands: Give him the ultimate hand-job.

Seriously, hand jobs are highly underrated! For men, few other things are as sexy as a woman taking control of them with her expert hands. (Use some coconut oil for a sexier feel). Lead him to the bedroom by giving his penis a slight tug. Look at him while you caress and fondle him.

Use a twisting stroke (like going up a flight of circular stairs) to give him new sensations.

Observe what he responds to the most. Tease him – take him right to the edge and then ease off. Do this a couple of times before granting him release – he’ll have on the most powerful orgasms of his life.

10) Oral sex:

Some men like oral sex more than regular sex! They experience a surge of power when a woman goes down on them. Usually, regular sex is preceded by oral sex for a few minutes.

It is just a warm up. Treat your man once in a while; make him orgasm through oral sex alone. It is immensely satisfying for him. It puts him in a fabulous mood and he won’t be able to withhold himself from returning the favour. Here are a few pointers to help you have great oral sex:

The underside of his penis doesn’t receive much attention even though he is highly sensitive in that area. Do not repeat the same motion over and over – be a little unpredictable. Use different strokes, licks and swirls – use your imagination and listen to his body.

11) Be a little spontaneous and adventurous:

When a man finds a woman who is open to new experiences, it’s like he’s hit the jackpot! It ensures that his sex life always remains varied and interesting.

So at least consider trying new positions and places. You have to use your judgement here – if you are not comfortable with something, you have to refuse flatly but try not to be too conservative in and out of the bedroom. Ideally, you should be able to be an uninhibited nympho around your partner.

12) Have a sense of humor:

Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fun. So if he does something silly like wear a not-too-flattering costume or ejaculates quickly, you both should be able to laugh about it without feeling embarrassed or judged. This is much better than acting pissed and saying things that can leave permanent mental scars. Men appreciate a woman with a good sense of humor – it makes life easier and the sex better!

Use the above tips to be the best he’s ever had!