Why Men Have Affairs and What Can You Do About It?
It’s easy to say that men have affairs just because they are sex-craving maniacs. However, it’s a LITTTTLE bit more complicated than that.
Yes, sex is a big motivator but surprisingly – in a study conducted on 200 men, close to 50% revealed that emotional dissatisfaction in their current relationship was the number one reason why they chose to cheat.
Even more surprisingly, only 12% of the men thought that their mistress was more attractive than their wife! In short, if a man is having an affair – it is not solely because his mistress is prettier than his girlfriend or wife. Also, 66% of the subjects reported feeling guilty because of their infidelity.
Here are some of the primary reasons Why Men Have Affairs:
1) He no longer loves you:
During the initial phases of the relationship, women try pretty hard to impress their men (men do too) – they dress up, they actively seduce their boyfriends, they flirt, they go on dates, they make romantic gestures etc.
However, after a while – they stop doing all these things. Instead of wearing sexy clothes, they wear t-shirts, track pants and sandals.
- They begin to take their men for granted.
- They nag and pester them incessantly.
- They blow trivial matters out of proportion.
- They create a scene if the man fails to take out the trash.
- They no longer strive to create and maintain attraction.
Naturally, guys become wary of the relationship and look for solace and happiness elsewhere. The truth is, if a man is deeply in love with you – it is highly unlikely that he’ll cheat on you. Even if his attraction for you has waned a little bit, you can rekindle definitely rekindle that lost spark. Whether you will be able to salvage your relationship depends upon how damage has already been done.
For More on this, see our article: Does He Really Love Me?
2) Some men don’t like to be vulnerable:
From an evolutionary perspective, men are hardwired to be polygamous. Hence, when a man commits to a single woman, he makes himself vulnerable.
However, by having an affair, he aims to retain the power in the relationship. Some men are just not capable of handling intimacy – this behaviour probably arises due to the fact that they were hurt in past.
Such men do not get too emotionally involved with their mistresses – they are averse to any kind of commitment.
It can be difficult to deal with such type of men. You should do your best to build trust and constantly reinforce it. However, if the man is not capable of recognizing and acting upon your trustworthiness, you should probably move on.
3) As mentioned earlier, men often have affairs because they seek newer and better sex.
Research reveals that most couples have sex in only three positions – missionary, cowgirl and doggie. If you keep things super sexy in the bedroom, it is unlikely that you man will want to find gratification elsewhere.
Experiment with new positions and locations.
Explore new fantasies – engage in role-playing, use toys to spice things up even more!
Many women have deep rooted complexes with respect to sex. Hence, they shame men for their desires and call them perverts. This prompts men to have affairs with women who are more receptive and non-judgemental.
On the other hand, if a man continues to have affairs despite the best affairs of his woman, he is probably addicted to cheating and it is highly unlikely that he’ll change. It is up to the woman whether to keep tolerating his philandering or to dump him and move on.
4) In many cases, men have affairs because they want to break up with you.
Therapists call such cases ‘exit affairs’. The prospects for recovery from such a type of affair are totally hopeless.
The man is convinced that you are not right for him.
He’s probably frustrated because you both have not been communicating honestly and openly for a long time. Consequently, he has already decided that he does not want to be in a relationship with you any longer.
There is little that you can do to change his mind. Recover and move on.
5) Some men are late bloomers:
They probably didn’t date much during the earlier part of their lives or they were hurt.
Such men usually get a massive high upon seducing and sleeping with new girls. Having multiple sex partners gives them an ego boost.
There is very little that you can do to control such behavior. Your best bet is to make him feel that he can never completely have you. Such men find the ‘chase’ highly thrilling – use this to your advantage by making him pursue you. However, it can get very tiring in the long term to keep such a man hooked on to you.
Stay confident, social and be awesome – you’ll definitely find a man who will never even dream about cheating on you.
Want to find out what men REALLY want, and how you can take advantage of this? Check out this Free Video Training: What Men Secretly Want